‘I know you don’t publish fiction, but …’

Here’s a tip if you’re approaching a publisher with a manuscript. Have a look first at the sort of books they publish. My website might not be the most comprehensive available on the web but it is fairly clear in the five categories of non-fiction I’m looking to buy books in. But even that is not enough to stop the constant stream of fiction, poetry, children’s books and illustrated titles that still come my way. If you start a letter with the sentence ‘I know you don’t publish fiction, but I really think you should look at my novel’, what sort of response are you seriously expecting? ‘Thank you so much for sending in your manuscript: as a result of the brilliance of your prose, I have decided to completely revisit my publishing plan, and shape it entirely round your future Booker Prize winning career…’